Sometimes life throws a spanner in the works.
There you are going about your business. All is ordinary, all is normal then wham!
It happened to me this morning. It wasn’t one of those calls we all dread – “Are you Mrs Hayes? Are you the mother of….?”
No, but it was still a shock and it was about one of my children. She rang up herself with some very disappointing news. In fact, she was distraught.
Of course, I spent the phone call focussing on her and being a Mummy. I allowed her to cry and rail against the unfairness of life; I listened while she allowed herself to be a bit angry (she takes after me – a master at seeing the other person’s point of view!) When she was ready, I helped her look at next steps and maybe the lessons (“if you can handle this it will teach you persistence…”)
And she felt as much better as was possible at that time. I came off the phone and went about my day.
It wasn’t until later, I realised that I still had some shock in my system. The shock of that very moment of realising my first born couldn’t talk because she was crying so much.
Everything else was just detail.Shock happens in a moment of time
When you realise that shock happens in a moment of time, it becomes easier to tap on it. If you are going over all the “bad” things at once, it can be overwhelming. Remember, good EFT is about drilling down to “aspects”.
Each aspect is tappable. A moment in time is tappable.
In one moment, something happens to the body.
You feel sudden emotion.
Thoughts and decisions enter your head.
You can tap for each of these. It is just a question of asking yourself the questions:
How am I feeling?
What is happening in my body?
What am I saying to myself?
This sounds complex but it isn’t really. It is just a question of giving yourself enough witnessing to know what is going on. Even better if you start tapping first and then ask the questions. The act of tapping itself brings up what is going on.
For example, I hadn’t realised that I needed a cry myself. I had already rationalised the whole incident, talked calmly to her father, sent her an ecard and got on with my day.
But when I sat down and started tapping, I find myself having a cry. It didn’t last long, but it needed to happen.Tapping while thinking of your issue helps lessen shock
I didn’t need to analyze the tears. Just let them happen. Yes, there was sadness, but tears are also a release of shock. And the crying released the shock in my body which had frozen around my heart.
This was a “small” shock. Frozen shock is the cause of SO MUCH unhappiness. The shock happens and it is never processed. The relief when you finally clear it is astonishing.
Then I tapped on some of the thoughts…Clear the stories you told yourself at the moment of shock
This is much easier than it might seem. Just tap while saying out loud the thoughts in your head at that time. A lot of these thoughts will be the things you would talk about with a friend, like “It’s not fair, she deserves it…” and so forth.
But you can also listen to the thoughts which you wouldn’t share with a friend, because they are the darker thoughts, the ones you censor.
These might be thoughts like, “I want to kill them.” One of the beauties of EFT Tapping is that it allows you to tap on the dark aspects of the mind, and clear those dark thoughts before they fester and do real damage. You tap in the confidentiality of your own counsel or with your practitioner. It is always better out than in.Shock usually attacks the heart
If you have had a shock, check your heart. The points you tap while you tap round the classic points, include Heart and Heart Protector. Tapping on all the points will release the shock held around your heart.
A script for Shock
(Reasons for shock are so varied, I have kept this very general indeed. Please always be true to your own experience.)
Even though I have had this shock, I love and accept myself.
Even though it came as a shock, I love and accept myself.
Even though I have this shock, I don’t want to hold onto it and I am doing something about it right now, I love and accept myself.
This shock in my body
This shock in my heart
I hate it
I’m feeling wobbly/angry/sad…
I want to run away
It’s too distressing
It shouldn’t have happened
I don’t like it
They are wrong/mean/
It’s not fair
It’s too much
And so on…
Tap with a stream of consciousness and you will get all the thoughts that could get frozen and become resentment or bitterness or victimhood.
When you have cleared the shock, you could do a round or two of inner cheerleading.If you have had a big shock
If you have had a big shock, you may need to go to a practitioner to help you clear it all. But you can get so far on your own.As ever, trust yourself. Tap. You can’t go wrong.