“The most powerful steps in the world, always on the cusp of failure. I want to baby step for the rest of my life – the persistence – the determination – the self-acceptance – the commitment – the joy of it”.
Victor Lee Lewis
These words by a friend of mine on Facebook struck me so forcefully that I wrote them down. It occurred to me that we often want to be somewhere else, we don’t want to be baby stepping at all. We want to be Olympic runners, hurtling past the winning post.
Let’s consider baby steps…
We all know what it takes to make baby steps. That baby first has to raise themselves on their elbows, then learn to roll over, then get onto all fours and eventually to crawl…Action! Finally the baby can travel to something they see and want. Then they learn to push onto their feet and stay upright…success! And finally the big one…that baby takes their first steps.
As a mother, the memories of my babies’ first steps stand out in technicolour. What joy! what achievement!
And then what happens? they fall over! You fell over, I fell over. All babies fall over…Does it put them off? No. They get up, and try again, and again and again…
That sounds good.
How often do you persist at a behaviour you want when you fall over? I know for myself it is sometimes hard not to give in t o failure.
- “it’s too hard”
- “it isn’t worth it anyway”
- “there’s no point, I’ll fail again”
Would a baby say that? No.
When a baby wants to walk, there is a reason. They feel the primal urge in their cells. They want to reach something. Lying down forever isn’t an option.
Where in your life do you want something enough to have that sort of determination?
What would it take to keep trying?
I believe that persistence and determination are grounded on self-acceptance. The basic EFT recipe has that self-acceptance sewn into the seams of it’s making.
- “Even though I have this problem, I love and accept myself…”
How amazing is that! It doesn’t matter that you fall over if you accept yourself anyway. In fact, it is that love and acceptance that stops the possibility of victimhood or self-pity. Self-acceptance means not condoning a problem or issue, but seeing it in clear daylight, so it can be dissolved. A baby doesn’t wallow.
again and again and again…
- “Even though I fell over, I choose to try again”
- “Even though I stumbled, I have the urge to succeed”
- “Even though I fell over, I know I can do this, and I will”
the joy of it…
ah, the secret…why does trying over and over have to be a struggle? It doesn’t!
Let’s breathe in the sheer joy of making baby steps…
Let’s breathe in the brilliance of keeping going…
Let’s breathe in the freshness of again and again and again…
Taking baby steps in everyday life
What if we took this baby approach into our everyday lives? Perhaps if we had this attitude around a behaviour we want to change we needn’t be so prone to self-blame. We try, we fall over, we laugh and try again… That glass of lemon water on waking? that compliment to your partner? that not shouting at your child?
If there was one thing you chose to do with “baby steps” – celebrating yourself each time you fell and got up again – what would it be?